


Kyle's Boomin' Getaway

by KPesh123



Series: Kyle's Boomin' Adventures [14]
Category: Original Work
Genre: Alcohol, Alternate Universe - Beach, Alternate Universe - Road Trip, Bad Writing, Beach City, Beaches, Beer, Best Friends, Binge Drinking, Childhood Friends, Comedy, Comedy of Errors, Dark Comedy, Day At The Beach, Drinking, Drug Dealing, Drug Use, Drugs, Excessive Drinking, Friendship, Fucking, Good Writing, Heavy Drinking, Late Night Writing, Marijuana, Maryland, Ocean, Other, Party, Partying, Porn, Rape, Recreational Drug Use, References to Drugs, Road Trips, Smoking, Summer, Summer Vacation, Travel, Underage Drinking, Underage Smoking, Vodka, Whiskey & Scotch, Writing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-23
Updated: 2020-08-23
Packaged: 2021-03-06 22:00:39
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,715
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26066146
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KPesh123/pseuds/KPesh123
Summary: Kyle and The Boy's decide to take a road trip down to Ocean City Maryland.  All goes well at first until the boys run into trouble...
Series: Kyle's Boomin' Adventures [14]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1867981





	Kyle's Boomin' Getaway

**Author's Note:**

> Please make sure to read the other stories of Kyle's Boomin' Adventures.

Kyle’s Boomin Getaway

The boys were planning a little weekend getaway for the summer. For the past few years all they did was stay in Monmouth County to work and go to each other's places in order to get fucked up. With many weeks available for most of the boys, they planned on going somewhere far away for a weekend. The boys preferred a beach destination where there was an abundance of action as well as people. The boys were all gathered at Malcolm’s house to pick a destination. 

“So where do we want to go?” Mark asked.

“All I know, it needs to have a beach.” Gianni said.

“And nightlife as well.” Nick commented.

“Don’t forget bitches though.” Jay said.

“So far we've got many towns along the Jersey Shore, but we’ve been to them before.” Jon said. “This time we gotta go someplace new.” 

After hours of discussion and online research, the boys narrowed down their options to three towns. The boys had to decide where they individually wanted to go the most. Kyle began the voting process. 

“Okay we got three options as of now.” Kyle stated. “We got Seaside Heights, Wildwood, and Ocean City Maryland.” 

“Hey boomer!!!” Nancy Drew chimed popping up out of nowhere.

“How?” Kyle asked annoyed looking at the boys in utter frustration.

“I’m a girl Kyle, we know everything.” Nancy responded.

“Oh you know everything? Do you know what I’m thinking right now?” 

“You want me to fuck off don’t you”

“Yup.”

“Oh.” Nancy said quietly in a sad tone of voice lowering her head. She walked out of the room.

“I fucking hate that bitch.” Kyle hissed to the boys.

“I know you said that!” Nancy shouted from a distance.

“Fuck off you dumb socialist cunt!!!” Kyle shouted back.

“Alright let’s continue.” Gianni responded.

“Okay let’s go through the pros and cons of each of them.” Kyle said. “Seaside Heights; The Jersey Shore was filmed there. If we get enough money we could rent that house. There is a beach and boardwalk, and Gianni went there after Prom. Cons, the security is rampant due to Snookie being a gremlin whore, the bars are twenty one and up as well. Wildwood; the beaches are huge. There is a boardwalk and amusements as well as t-shirt shops and bars. Malcolm and I have been there as well. Cons, there is not as much to do as the other places. Ocean City; none of us have ever been there before making it a new destination for all of us. There seems to be a lot to do with a beach and boardwalk, and it’s also out of state. Cons, there is a huge chance Nancy fucking Drew will invite herself along once she figures out we are down there. Okay what’s your pick?”

“I’ve been going to Wildwood every year, I’ll vote OC.” Malcolm stated.

“Nick, yea I’ve never been there. OC.” Nick said.

“Come back to me.” Mark commented.

“I’ve been to Seaside so I know how to get fucked up there, I vote Seaside.” Gianni stated.

“OC.” Jay stated.

“Why fucking not, let’s do OC.” Jon commented.

“Ight bet, OC it is.” Kyle said. 

The boys concluded their day by partying as usual since they successfully had done something productive which was rare for them. After another night of binge drinking followed by a day of recovery, the boys needed to plan their next move for the trip. 

“Boys, we haven’t been talking about something huge.” Mark stated.

“What’s that?” Nick asked.

“Fucking alc. We gotta be turnt this entire trip boys. No half sending bullshit.” Mark replied.

“I got Leah to help with that, she might have to join though.” Malcolm commented.

“No!! We are not blowing our shot at pussy walking around with her!!!” Jay yelled.

“I agree if we walk around the beach with her people will mistake her for a beached whale.” Jon added.

Leah was Malcolm’s plug and former lover. Leah was the size of a Fiat 500 and could out drink Malcolm in a second. Kyle met her at Malcolm’s birthday party. All day Malcolm was hyping up the fact that she was Russian. When Leah walked through the door, Kyle was stunned by the sudden mass that was in front of him. They were finally introduced. 

“Hey Kyle!!! This was that Russian chick I was telling you about!!!” Malcolm slurred.

“Yo what’s good! Your vodka is the shit!” Kyle drunkenly yelled.

“I’m not even Russian.” Leah said to Malcolm.

Nevertheless Leah turned twenty one and was able to get alcohol for Malcolm as long as she got to suffocate him to sleep every night. Malcolm happily obliged.

“How the fuck are we supposed to get alcohol you fucking idiots?! God damn mother fuckers don’t know common sense if it pegged you in the asshole.” Malcolm yelled. 

Jon walked over to Malcolm and lightly smacked him in the forehead. Malcolm started to cry uncontrollably due to the pain he felt from getting lightly slapped. Malcolm ran out of the room with his hands over his eyes.

“I don’t get it, I remember you almost suffocating him to death with a gym bag.” Kyle commented.

“We had some good times.” Jon stated.

“We still haven’t figured out our alc situation.” Mark said.

“I can take care of this, it’s pretty simple actually. Since the Coronavirus is still kind of a thing, if you have an older brother, take his I.D. and wear a mask. If they ask you to take the mask off, get defensive. It works every fucking time.” Gianni explained. 

“Alright you do that since your older brother looks exactly like you, I’ll tell Malcolm to man up and make him get alc from that fat bitch. Don’t worry I’ll make sure she doesn’t come.” Mark stated.

Mark talked to Malcolm. Malcolm agreed to go buy the alcohol from Leah but not have her be a part of the event. While Malcolm was taking care of that situation, Gianni went to the local liquor store to try out his new method. Gianni put on his mask and took out his brother’s I.D. Gianni picked up a basket full of vodka, beer, and hard alcohol, he then made his way to the register. 

“Hey this will be all today.” Gianni told the cashier.

“Alright, can I see your I.D.?” The cashier asked.

“Sure thing.” Gianni accidentally handed the cashier his own driver’s license, instead of his brother’s.

“Sir it says you’re only eighteen. I can’t sell to you today and I gotta call the cops.” The cashier told Gianni.

“Ight plan B boys.” Gianni said into a walkie-talkie. 

Out of nowhere Mark and Jay jumped through the window wearing ski masks and all black clothing. With machine guns in their hands Jay held up the employees while Mark stole all of the bottles in the store. The rest of the boys were outside putting the bottles into a cheap van they rented for the day. Once the store was wiped clean, Mark and Jay shot their guns into the air a few times in order to assert their dominance. They quickly ran out and hopped into the van, Jon being the driver, drove off before the cops arrived. The boys stored all of the alcohol in Malcolm’s basement, which acted as a big chiller for the hard liquor and beer. With that the boys had to plan where and how they would get to Ocean City.

The day came when the boys had to leave for Ocean City. The boys rented a giant van which could fit all of them. They all woke at around 6:00am on Friday morning. Jon kept the van and picked everyone up. On the drive down they each took turns behind the wheel. Since none of them had been to Ocean City, they ended up getting lost in the middle of Delaware. 

“God fucking damnit we are officially lost.” Jon commented.

“Where the fuck are we anyway?” Nick asked.

“The map says Delaware, no town given. Jesus Christ this place sucks.” Kyle commented.

“Yo since we are literally on a road in the middle of butt fuck Delaware, could I possibly drive?” Jay asked.

Jay was still a sophomore in high school and did not have his driver's license yet. Whenever the boys would hang with Jay, one of them would have to drive. Since no one was on the roads with them, they decided to teach Jay how to drive. With Jon in the passenger seat, Jay began to learn how to drive. 

“Okay you got the brake on the right and the gas pedal on the left. We are currently in park. Put your foot on the break and change that into drive. Then put your foot on the gas and go straight.” Jon explained.

“Ight bet.” Jay responded.

Jay did exactly as instructed then began to drive. Instead of going the speed limit Jay was completely oblivious to the signs on the road. The speed limit was fifty miles per hour, Jay was going well over a hundred. For every turn Jay swerved the van with no blinkers. Eventually the only other car on the road saw the boys and started following their van. Out of nowhere flashing red and blue lights appeared as well as sirens. The only other car on the road was a cop. Jay pulled the van over and the cop approached them. Jay rolled down the window.

“Hello officer how are you on this fine day?” Jay asked.

“Holy shit!!! It’s a fucking black kid!! Today’s my lucky day!! Boy get the fuck out of this van I’m going to kill you!!!” The cop yelled, pulling his gun out on Jay.

“You retard you really going to do this with everything going on in this country?” Kyle asked.

“Shut up brown boy I’ll deal with you in a minute!” The cop responded. “As for you! Get the fuck down!!”

“Why do I need to do that?” Jay asked.

“I’m going to choke you with my knee boy!” The cop responded.

“Ight enough of this.” Mark said, taking the wheel.

Mark took the van and made a u-turn. Mark proceeded to run over the cop only to break once the front tire was on his neck. The tables had turned for the police force.

“Oh for the love of god I can’t breathe!!! I can’t breathe!!! What did I ever do to deserve this?! Please! Mamma! Oh the humanity!!!” The cop cried.

Once unconscious Mark drove off the cop and sped away. Eventually the boys found the highway using Google Maps. They made it back on and drove down to Ocean City, making it to their hotel. The boys checked into the hotel and went out onto the boardwalk. Since the bars were twenty one and over, the boys put alcohol into thermos bottles and drank those on the boardwalk and beach. After looking in some of the shops, the boys returned to their hotel room where they partied the rest of the night.

The boys woke up, poured more alcohol into their containers, and went to the beach. There they spent most of the day hanging in the chairs listening to music or going in the water. The boys got insanely drunk and went through the entire boardwalk. Even though the boys had unlimited alcohol from their heist, they were running low on weed. The boys had to discuss their plan while on the beach. 

“So what are we going to do? We have no fucking weed.” Gianni said.

“Bruh this is a fucking delema.” Mark commented.

“Excuse me I couldn’t help but overhear you guys but I think I could solve your problem.” A random voice came from behind the boys.

“Who said that?” Malcolm asked. 

“I’m just a local drug dealer, come to my van I think I got some shit you’d like.” The drug dealer said. 

“Oh word.” Gianni replied.

The boys followed the drug dealer to his van. Once the drug dealer opened the back of his van, the boys were astonished with what they saw. The van was filled with high end weed and supplies. They each took several ounces of different strains as well as different supplies to smoke them. Once the boys were heavily crossed, the drug dealer wasn’t finished.

“I can get you into any bar on the boardwalk. You guys in?” The drug dealer asked.

“Oh bet.” Mark said.

“Lets fucking go!” Kyle shouted.

The drug dealer walked into a bar which the boys attempted to enter earlier on. At first the employees were rude to the boys, but once they saw them with the drug dealer, they backed off and let them all drink. Once they were all done, the drug dealer offered the boys another experience.

“How’d you guys like to tag along with me while I sell weed to Good Charlotte?” The drug dealer asked.

“Boy would I!” Nick shouted.

“That would be epic. How do you know them?” Kyle asked.

“They’re from Waldorf.” The drug dealer responded.

“Waldorf worldwide.” Kyle commented.

The drug dealer took the boys to the Madden Brother’s house. The frontmen of Good Charlotte lived in mega mansions right by the beach. Once the boys approached the gate, an armed butler appeared and brought them inside. The boys walked in to find both Benji and Joel Madden doing cocaine off strippers tits. Once they noticed the boys, the Madden Brothers kicked their strippers to the side and brought the boys to their giant hot tub overlooking the beach. Once in, the drug dealer sold the two their weed of choice, champagne was poured for everyone. The two groups started talking.

“Let me tell you something boys, our lives were shit. We formed Good Charlotte and now we are millionaires, every weird emo kid worships us. I’m literally married to Cameran Diaz. Do what you want, fuck society. Lifestyles of the rich and famous boys.” Benji told the boys. 

“That’s exactly what I needed to hear.” Kyle said.

“Sometimes you just gotta say fuck it.” Joel commented.

After an hour of partying with Good Charlotte, the drug dealer took the boys back to their hotel. Once in the lobby, the drug dealer pulled them into a more secluded part of the lobby. Their great day was about to go down the shitter.

“Alright boys here’s the bill.” The drug dealer said, handing Kyle the bill.

“What the fuck?! Half a million dollars?! How in the fuck is that possible?!” Kyle shouted after looking at the bill. 

“You guys took so much weed from me, also it ain’t easy getting Good Charlotte available like that. So you're gonna pay up right?” The drug dealer asked.

“Dude this is a fucking rip off. The weed I understand but most of us don’t even know who Good Charlotte is. We thought they were some weird fucks with tattoos.” Mark explained.

“Listen boys, you better get me the fucking money!” The drug dealer said angrily. “If you don’t you’re gonna have to deal with my boss Leroy, and he ain’t as nice as me.”

The drug dealer walked out of the hotel lobby. The boys were now left in Ocean City to come up with half a million dollars in order to pay the debt they dug themselves into. Even though the boys had acquired some money in the months prior to the trip, nothing was as high as the bill that was given to them. The boys started to panic.

“Holy shit! What the fuck do we do?!” Malcolm cried.

“Yo honestly fuck that retard, we gotta take him down.” Jay said.

“And how do you suppose we do that Einstein? We didn’t bring any weapons.” Jon asked Jay.

“It’s funny, we literally held a liquor store at gunpoint last week but now we are unarmed and about to get killed.” Nick commented. 

“Guys, did you not listen to the Madden bro’s when we were at their mega mansion? Fuck it, we’ll be prepared.” Kyle said.

“I agree.” Mark commented. 

The boys found whatever objects could be used as weapons in order to defend themselves. They waited in their hotel rooms the entire night preparing for utter hell. All the lights and the television were off, nobody drank or smoked. The boys had to be on high alert just in case any of the drug henchmen came knocking at their door. 

With blunt objects in their hands, the boys started to doze off. It was around 4:00am on Sunday when the drug henchmen broke down the door and had the boys at gunpoint. Being caught off guard the blunt objects were rendered useless compared to the henchmen’s machine guns. 

“Everybody’s hands in the fucking air right now!!! Don’t fucking move!!!” A henchman shouted at the top of his lungs. 

With four henchmen in the room, the drug dealer walked in. He had a wicked grin on his face similar to what Harvey Weinstene and Jeffery Epstine had on their faces when they were about to Eiffel Tower a fourteen year old Guatemalan girl. The boys knew they were fucked.

“So boys, you got my money?” The drug dealer asked.

“Yea it’s up Malcolm’s ass.” Jon said sarcastically.

“Oh really? Bet. Goose, take Malcolm into the bathroom and fist him until you find the money.” The drug dealer ordered.

“Right away sir.” Goose the henchman responded, picking up Malcolm with one hand.

“Wait what?! God dammit not again!!!!” Malcolm shouted.

The rest of the henchmen along with the boys and the drug dealer stared at each other as Malcolm got fisted in the bathroom. As usual Malcolm was squealing like a pig and even introduced a new sound into the mix. Whenever Malcolm felt a threat was near, or if he was trying to mate, he would make a sound that was almost similar to an orca whale. Making whale noises in the bathroom, Malcolm got fisted for about ten minutes until the henchman gave up. The henchman walked out and left Malcolm crying in the bathroom.

“These fuckers lied to you boss.” The henchman said.

“Ight you obviously wanted it the hard way so now you gotta deal with Leroy.” The drug dealer said annoyed. “Guards, put the bags over their heads.”

The boys were handcuffed and covered with black bags. From there they were put into the back of a van which then took off. Kyle couldn’t help but reflect back on the Wank Bang incident where the boys were kidnapped in the back of a van and taken to an abandoned warehouse. Kyle felt deja vu all over again just like he did when he entered college. After about ten minutes of fast driving, the van stopped and the boys were taken out and placed against a wall in an abandoned building a few miles outside of Ocean City. One by one the bags were removed from their heads and the drug dealer was there to greet them with a torch in his hand.

“You boys couldn’t just pay the tab.” The drug dealer said.

“You were ripping us off dude.” Mark stated.

“Whether that be the case or not, Leroy wants to speak with you, and he’s less understanding than me.” The drug dealer said. 

“You haven’t been understanding at all.” Kyle responded.

“You know I have a torch in my hand and can make you more charred than Darth Vader right?” The drug dealer asked.

“You just proved my point.” Kyle said.

“That’s it I’m done with you morons. Leroy!!!” The drug dealer shouted.

A menacing shadow appeared from down the hall. The footsteps were loud and monstrous, sounding like bombs going off a mile away. The closer Leroy got the more intimidating he was. Finally Leroy entered the room with a black hoodie and a scary mask on. In Leroy’s right hand was a glock while in the other was a baseball bat with spikes in it. Leroy turned and looked intimidatingly at the boys, trying to scare them into paying. He stared at the boys for a solid minute.

“Jesus Christ! Boys! What’s good?!” Leroy shouted, taking off his mask.

“God damnit it’s fucking Pawlie again!” Kyle yelled.

“What the fuck did you guys do now?” Pawlie asked.

“Why the fuck are you running a drug ring in Maryland?” Jon asked.

“You see, after you guys destroyed my porn career, I was not making money. I eventually started growing and selling weed all across the eastern seaboard. This is shit weed I’m making as well. I jack off into the leaves and shit. Kyle I believe kids from your school buy my shit.” Pawlie explained.

“The Boof Brigade buys from you?!” Kyle asked.

“Yea they do call it that.” 

“You know what, that doesn’t surprise me at all.” Mark commented.

“Yea they seem like dumbasses.” Pawlie said.

“Can we go now?” Jon asked.

“First off how will I get paid?” Pawlie asked.

“Just have your guys attack the Boof Brigade.” Kyle offered.

“Okay that will work. One other thing, I want an apology from you guys for ending my porn career and for Malcolm to get anally raped.” Pawlie stated.

“Malcolm got raped by your henchmen already.” Jay said.

“Okay that works.” Pawlie responded.

“Bruh fuck you guys.” Malcolm said. 

“I still need an apology.” Pawlie stated.

“We’re sorry for ending your porn career.” Kyle said reluctantly.

“Okay I’ll let you go. Hail Leroy.”

Pawlie let the boys go and ordered them an Uber back to Ocean City. The boys got back and drank the rest of their booze. Since it was their last night, they brought beers onto the beach and watched the fireworks. The next day they drove back to New Jersey. Pawlie sent his henchmen to the various Boof Brigade households and jumped them for money they didn’t owe. Even though they preached distribution of wealth, the Boof Brigade were very defensive with their money. They were all jumped and robbed by Pawlie while the boys partied at Malcolm’s house in order to end their trip. 

  
  


I hope you enjoyed my boomin getaway. We are actually planning a trip to Ocean City. 

  
  



End file.
